Well, it has been a while. There has been a lot of change in my world (and the rest of the world, jeez, but we will come to some of that shortly). I moved jobs to the Programme Lead for Music Therapy and, whilst there is still an awful lot of responsibility, there is more space to create. So this, alongside the finishing of my PhD in a month, means that I can be here; writing, reflecting, encouraging, supporting.
Yesterday, I went to see a day-long feminist festival, run by the Trouble Club (I will put links to various things at the end). The day began with Lois Shearing who discussed the impact of the far right on women. Then, Nina Gilligan made us pee our leopard print pants from laughing (seriously, there was so much leopard print in that room!). And finally, Caitlin Moran burst on to the stage to talk about how we can be women in 2025.
I have been a fan of Caitlin for years, listening to any podcast she appears on and reading articles and columns. I have not read any of her books though - much to the shock of my accompanying friend. As soon as Caitlin arrived on stage, the energy in the room shifted. There was a crackle and a spark. Caitlin was candid, vulnerable at times, balanced and challenging. It is a hard time to be a woman - or any gender that isn’t male - at the moment. With the resurgence of Trump in America, women’s and LGBTQ+ rights have been, well, trumped. Here, in the UK, the rise of the Trad Wife, the politics of the far right and the impact of influencers on social media mean that all of the work that was done by previous generations is being wiped out. In the far east, there are countries where a woman is seen as so provocative, that she can’t even sing or read out loud in her own home. I mean, what is actually going on? If hope is the thing that sings the song until we know the words, where the heck is the hope for women?
As someone who was a teen in the 1990’s, I thought we could have it all. But sitting here, as a parent of teens now in my 40’s, I feel this was another ploy sold to us by the patriarchal media. Another way to put pressure on women, another way to set us up to fail. And it makes me wonder, what is the world so scared of? If women did actually have equality, or more importantly, if the power in the world was spread out between people of all genders, why would that be so bad? Because those in power would have to question who they were and their identities are so insecure that this would break them? Something Caitlin Moran said years ago always sticks in my head. It was something like, women have taken on male attributes to become more powerful in the world and gain some equality. For things to change more, men need to take some of our attributes. So, what are the things that make women powerful and incredible? What makes us worthy to take up space?
As I sat in the hall yesterday, surrounded by women who were laughing, hugging, crying, feeling, I felt overwhelmed by the wonder of us. I was with a new friend who has been through the most inspiring life journey. She has resilience and is thoughtful, she is funny and beautiful. During the day, I was messaging my best friend, who is the most affirming person I have ever met. At one point, I messaged excitedly, “I want to be a feminist writer again. I need to do it again”. And they replied, “But Rach, you are one already”. Cue massive grin from me. When it was question time in the hall, a woman simply said, “When my friend and I came here and were both absolutely shattered. Being here today has changed everything”. Cue more tears from everyone in the room.
All of this reminded me of a recent trip to the Louvre, in Paris. I wanted to be surrounded by Renaissance art and sculpture, imagining how I would have cultured children who were keen to learn about the goddesses of Greek myths. The children only wanted to see the Mona Lisa. I was dismissive because of the actual queues, the tourism and capitalism of it all…. Bless my children, having to put up with me….. We get to the room and there are loads of people clambering over the tiny Mona Lisa, phones out, pushing and shoving. My dismissiveness caused me to turn around and look behind. On the wall facing the Mona Lisa is The Wedding at Cana. Have you seen this painting?! It is incredible! It is huge and there are so many characters and details in this wall-wide image. And right there in the middle, Jesus is watching. He looks out of the painting, straight into the eyes of Mona Lisa. Whilst I acknowledge that organised religion in itself is part of the world’s problems, let’s take Jesus as a metaphor of a miracle. Of someone who can change things when they have people around them.The people of Cana are clambering over him, pushing and shoving to get closer to the miracle. Someone in the Louvre had a great time curating that allegory in the salon. Anyway, the reason that I am saying this to you is that we often think that the thing in front of us is the problem, the solution, what we need or don’t need. And sometimes, it is the thing somewhere else, the thing is behind us. Instead of feeling angry about the world, let’s use the things that make us women to change the world. The hope, the resilience, the softness, the strength in our vulnerability - the community. Let’s turn around and face our community and use the energy to water the grass we are standing on. I will be here, regularly lifting you up. Let’s see what we can do with our women-ness. Goodness knows, we all need each other.
Trouble Club: https://www.thetroubleclub.com/
Lois Shearing: https://uk.jkp.com/collections/author-lois-shearing
Nina Gilligan: https://ninagilligan.com/
Caitlin Moran: https://www.penguin.co.uk/authors/183736/caitlin-moran
Comments